Tonglen — Taking In, Sending Outtibetan vajrayana buddhismOn the in-breath you take in what you would normally avoid — the difficulty, yours or someone else's, imagined as it is. On the out-breath you send what you would normally keep: ease, relief, whatever you would want for them. Breath by breath, usually beginning with someone easy to care about before anyone difficult. It belongs to the mind-training (lojong) teachings brought to Tibet by Atiśa and set down as the Seven Points of Mind Training by Chekawa Yeshe Dorje in the twelfth century. It is demanding, and the tradition says so; it is not a calming exercise.What it's for

Caregiver Stress — The caregiver's exhaustion is read here as the cost of holding someone's pain at arm's length while staying beside them all day — the bracing, not the caring, is what depletes.

Complicated Grief — Grief that will not move is read as grief being held away — kept at a distance where it can neither be felt through nor set down. This training turns deliberately toward it instead.

Social Anxiety — Fear of other people is read here as attention locked on your own exposure. Exchange moves the subject: the room becomes people who are also struggling, rather than an audience assembled to judge.